More Bad Weather on the Way

  A snowstorm was brewing but never really delivered.  We had some snow, plenty of wind and ice.  I was sure that I would spend the weekend alone, but then the granddaughters came.

First, I want to share this amazing cross stitch worked beautifully by a talented gentleman!  Patience, it's name is Tom, of the power couple of Jean and Tom fame.   Made for their new granddaughter.  I was able to help (Finally, they do so much for me and did for my dearest.) by finishing the stocking backing and lining.  This stocking is a work of love and a work of art.  Who has a stocking made by their grandpa?  Emily!

 This week I went down memory lane to celebrate the birthday of my late cousin Diana.   I found this photo and posted it to Facebook tagging her children and brother.  I remember how itchy that dress was with those crinoline slips.  Yes, that's me, the flower girl.  The ring bearer is my cousin Mark.  The wedding was at a hotel in downtown Chicago, and Mark and I were the only kids.  We ran and danced and went to a newsstand and bought cough drops!  A heady experience for a six year old girl, and Mark would remind me that he was even younger. We lost Diana last year.  She was a beautiful and talented woman, the first born to our family.  She was the flower girl at my parents wedding, and a forever presence in my life.  

Back to the baby grands... My arms are full of love.  

 News Flash, Irene is standing around the furniture. Here she is encouraging Stevie to try.  Stevie is perfectly happy watching Irene, and laughs and claps for her.   Look at that proud face. They will be ten months this week.

Stevie kissed me, spontaneously.  It was a moment of pure joy and happiness.  This is me ugga muggaing her goodbye.   Irene and Stevie are so sweet and so smart and along with their spectacular cousin Penny fill my heart. When they leave, the house is never emptier. I miss the talks after Tyke and I were alone, the hugs at the door...

So wish he could be here to enjoy these rascals.

"Most like an arch - two weaknesses that lean into a strength.

Two fallings become firm." 

-John Ciardi, On Marriage

I miss the other half of my arch, the part that made me whole. Still, I am here.

Tyke still holds me up, 

the connection is so deep and so everlasting. 

"The trouble with life is that

 there are so many beautiful moments 

and so little time."

-John Barrymore

Thank you or stopping by and for your kind comments.

Enjoy this beautiful day. 

Love, Penny

Something Waits Beneath It...

 These first days of January have been some of the hardest days, the loneliest days.

 I took down of all the Christmas decorations while binge watching Schitt's Creek.  It is a comedy I tried watching before but lost interest in.  Last week I saw a photo of the Beekman 1802 store in Sharon Springs, New York, and they had changed their facade to look like Rose Apothecary, a tie in to the show.  My kids have been telling me to watch, so while taking down the Christmas tree, a depressing job on a good day, it was a welcome distraction.  Tyke and I were big Second City TV fans back in the day, so seeing Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara is always a treat.  Just finished season one, put way all the boxes and bags of the holidays...

 Earlier in the week I stopped by the thrift where all the Christmas was 75% off, and bought this angel for a buck.  She is so well made and quirky that I fell in love.  She was signed by the artist, so I looked her up on facebook and saw we had a mutual friend.  I would not like to tell her that I bought her angel and all the beautiful work involved for a dollar.  I guess I just like to rescue hand made things that maybe were not appreciated in a previous life. 

 We had a small snowfall, enough that I had to shovel the driveway and clean off the car.  It felt so good to be out there.  I love snow, but I am glad that we didn't have a white Christmas.  It would have broken my heart, for loving a snowy day was something my sweetie and I looked forward to.  A pot of soup on the stove, something in the oven and a cozy nap.  It was heaven.

 The flowers I bought myself for Christmas are still lovely two weeks later.

 I made more of the pizza rolls that Penny and I also made on New Years Eve. I made pizza rolls every year for New Year's Eve, so the kids always ask me to save them some.  Jon brought the babies by and Kris, Doug and Penny came by to visit. (Really they come to snuggle babies!)  My little granddaughters are crawling everywhere, pulling themselves up on the furniture.  Irene talks and talks, Stevie observes, and they both love to laugh.  Penny is back on schedule, school, cooking class, swim lessons, scouts and Harry Potter.  Love having them here so often.

Left to right Sue, Tyke, Me, Ron on guitar, Connie and my brother Larry.
Don't remember who was on the other guitar.

 I post this photo because of my longtime BFF Sue, and a single photo she sent me this weekend.  It was a photo of a trash can filled with shredded paper...she asked, guess what this is?  I knew immediately, Sue had shredded our youth!  Sue was the keeper of our youth, by keeping a diary.  For years she wrote every night about what happened, or didn't happen.  We were young lonely girls who couldn't get a date.  We were unlucky in love but had so many great times, happy times and a friendship that has lasted over 50 years. I could call her and ask, what happen on May 25th in 1974 and she would tell me how we were at a party at Marci's and there was this new guy who showed up.  He danced with Penny and then kissed her, I mean really laid on one her...Penny's in love, I think she's crazy.  She'll never see him again, or something like that. (That really happened and that guy was Tyke.)  I texted Sue,  NOOOOOOO, not the diary!  I then called her and we talked, and talked and laughed and cried. Sue is that friend that you can pick up right where you left off.  She knows my life, my family, we shared eighth grade through HS, even worked at the same law firm and she was there the day I met Tyke and I was there the day she met her hubby Laury.   Sue was embarrassed and did not want her kids someday reading all the silly stuff girls write.  I, on the other hand want my kids to know everything, though they really don't want to know.  Anyway, it sent me to my archives, a plastic storage container in the basement and found some treasures of my own.  The photo above is one of them.  A sweet way to spend the evening, reliving so many happy memories. 

"I prefer winter and fall,

when you feel the bone

structure of the landscape--

the loneliness of it; the dead

feeling of winter.  Something

waits beneath it, the whole

story doesn't show.

Andrew Wyeth

 Thanks for stopping by and for your kind and comforting comments.

They mean so very much to me.

Enjoy this beautiful day.

Love, Penny

Christmas Without

Christmas came and we had a sweet holiday.  On Christmas Eve we were all  together and the babies came. Penny was so excited with her gifts and with the babies.  Three of my brothers and my SIL Mindy and Elizabeth...my nephews and one niece.  It was a small group, but so comforting to have them with us.  We had a early dinner and the crazy lottery we play each year.   Later in the evening it was just us, my beautiful family.  I was so happy to have everyone close.  We laughed and enjoyed each others company.  I cooked and baked and puttered for days, but my heart was not in it.

I got through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day just fine.  Busy with our babies and taking care of everything that needs attending to for my guests.  Then, they all went home and I cried, and cried and was lonelier than I have ever been.    

The kindness of dear friends.  My dearest, always my shining star, has a star named for him.

Once again Jean and Tom, so kind, caring, generous and true blue friends.

 A amazing quote from The Little Prince.

 Thank you Jean and Tom for keeping Tyke's memory alive.

On the laundry room door, my little tribute to my dearest.  

 Tyke is everywhere for me.  Life will never be the same, but there is happiness, so much happiness.

The sweetest little elves.  They actually cheer for me, and laugh at my jokes and tricks.  They are pure love.  So much fun, and work!  They are priceless treasures.  Balm for my heart and soul.

Penny, my special girl.  Grandpa's best friend is now the most comforting and loving child to her Grandma.  His side of the bed is now her side of the bed.  She just brought a stuffed kitty I must keep on the bed to keep me company when she's not with me.  What a treasure Penny is to me, and always was to her silly Grandpa.

 Here,  my sweethearts that joined me at the New Years Bonfire.  

 The Phoenix rises, a metaphor perhaps?

 With my SIL Doug.  Flashing his baby blues. 

 I told Penny that the Moon was my favorite of all the figures that are carried into the woods before the fire.  She said she wanted to carry it, and I told her to ask the volunteers if she could, and they said yes.  We had made a tribute to Grandpa, a cardinal flying on a stick for her to carry.  Doug carried the cardinal and walked with Penny behind the Piper, (Yes OUR piper Marty) My darling daughter Kristen and I walked together holding hands through the woods to the fire.

I avoided talking to Marty, not wanting to share sad news at a happy occasion.  Fate had other plans.  As we walked out of the woods, Marty was following us playing the bagpipes.  He kept getting closer and closer until I turned around and said, I love you Marty.  We had a hug and I shared what he had already surmised.  I reminded him of the special memory we have because of his kindness.  

Alfred Lord Tennyson said,

"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'it will be happier.'"

From your mouth Lord Tennyson, to God's ear.

Wishing you all peace and good health, happiness and love in the new year.

Enjoy this beautiful day, 

Love, Penny

Winter Solstice Woods Walk, and a Birthday

 Crisp, cold sunny.  A perfect day for a walk in the woods with my Granddaughter.
The Chicago Botanic Garden is all decked out for a light show, but we were there for the Woods Walk.  We started our walk by visiting the greenhouses.  Our glasses fogged up immediately and our layers of clothes seemed overdone.  Soon we would be happy to be over bundled.

 Not too many people at the Garden in winter, until the lights come on at night.

 We didn't mind at all having the place to ourselves/

 We passed the wood many times on our visits but never ventured into them.

 Tyke and I always wondered what it would be like to enjoy at roaring fire at the shelter on a day much like this day.

 It did not disappoint.  A lovely woman, layered that fire, a commercial fire starter, crumpled paper (beautifully crumpled by my Penny) bundles of twigs and branches, cardboard egg cartons.  Just a match was all it took.  Soon she was putting on multiple pieces of firewood until it was a picture perfect fire. I wish my love could have been there to see it.  I was wearing his Rocky Mountain National Park sweatshirt, and his hat and gloves.  A comforting and cozy reminder of a man who loved a good fire. 

Just because...When we were youngsters, and I was pregnant with daughter Kristen, my brother Jeff went to Boy Scout Camp up north at Owassippi, in Michigan.  Jeff sent me a letter that broke my heart.  He was cold, hungry and having a miserable time. Me, being in the motherly way, talked my dearest into driving up there with snacks and a comforter.  We got there late and found out it was parent's weekend, so there was no room available in the town.  A good friend arranged for us to sleep in a cabin.  We had no bedding, put on all our clothes we had, and were still freezing.  There was a wood stove and my guy tried to light a fire by putting a match to a log.  A city boy, who was never a scout and had never even sat beside a fire before. (I started the fire, having had grown up with a fireplace in our apartment.) Well you can imagine we joked about that for years.  My baby brother slept well that night, all cozy in my comforter and later sold the snacks to other campers to make some extra cash.

 The walk was fun but a little too much "bark" talk and less adventure ice walking and jumping off of things than my girl likes.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep."

-Robert Frost

We headed out a little early to host a birthday party for my original

girl, and darling daughter, Kristen.

Here is a little montage I posted today for

Kristenmas. 

A one day celebration could not be contained with all the happiness, joy and love we all feel for this beautiful woman, thus, unto us was born Kristenmas.

Kristen, you are loved and cherished by the small and the tall, by us all.  

Happy Birthday to the best Christmas gift I ever received, you.

We celebrated with dinner and a beautiful cake decorated by Penny.

Irene, Penny and Stevie

My heart is full.

Mark Twain said. "The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up". I find that to be very true.  We are here for each other.  Not one of us could get through our grief without the others. 

We are a tight, solid and strong family.  The babies are clapping and crawling!  Penny is writing in cursive!  We will be together, getting through this, just like Tyke said we would.

If I don't get the chance next week I would like to wish all of you a peaceful and happy Christmas.

Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments.  They have touched my heart.

Enjoy this beautiful day.

Love, Penny

By Degrees

 The sunsets this week were so incredibly beautiful.  So many times I walk past the window and have to grab my phone and take a quick photo.  I rarely use my camera, since my phone takes a superior  picture, and it is always close at hand.

 This beautiful angel came to me all the way from Florida, sent by my dear friend and sister of the heart, Carmella.  Cardinals have always had a special place in Carmella's heart. Now, after losing Tyke, the significance of a visiting cardinal has new meaning, and this gift will be treasured, displayed, and remembered by our whole family. Carmella, thank you especially for your memories and kind words about our family. Love you.

 Granddaughter Penny suggested that I use blue lights I had, on the tree this year.  A purist for white lights, I stuck the blue lights way inside the tree and white lights on the perimeter.  It is a different look, but lovely.  The only ornament is, of course, a cardinal Penny and I recently purchased, and our Hallmark angel we bought the year we were married, 1976. (Not shown in this photo.) 

 I made the front door wreath.  I saw a similar wreath and had a large wire heart shaped form. A few cable ties and a garland and I had a beautiful welcome .

 Candles are in my windows year round, I added the galvanized tin hearts, and a string of white lights swagged across the window tops.

Outside skates, a sled and skis and a tiny fresh tree.

 My baby girls are growing by leaps and bounds.  Irene is moving, not quite crawling but she can get to where ever she wants to go.  Here, we are on Face time and Irene has almost reached the phone that Daddy placed there so we could visit. They are phone crazy, and the cutest girls ever.

 Here is Stevie.  She is wearing Daddy's vest I made back in the day.  They both sit up on their own, and their techniques of doing so differ. We have so much fun together, but I love the snuggles and the peace I feel holding one of these sweet girls as they sleep.  Pure bliss. Did I mention clapping?  Stevie started first, clapping for the song If You're Happy and You Know It.  Then Irene caught on.  Now music, funny jokes, any cheering or laughing gets them clapping.  Their tiny hands actually make noise and it's the sweetest thing. Penny is the best cousin, and the girls just light up when she arrives.  I had all my kids here this weekend.  It is wonderful the love and support they give to me and to each other. Hat trick, Tyke.  Hat trick.

Irene, Penny and Stevie

 We tried to have a photo shoot, but it was like wrangling cats. Here they are all looking at the same place at the same time!  (Dad was hamming it up behind Grandma.)  Now that I think of it, why didn't the professional photographer (Dad Jon) take the photos while I hammed it up?  My girls, my heart, my loves.

Speaking of my loves, this was one year ago this week.

I so miss kissing this face on a cold winter day. 

"What wound did ever heal but by degrees?"

-William Shakespeare

Thank you for stopping by and for your kindness. 

Enjoy this beautiful day.

Love, Penny