Autumn and Trying Happiness

A surprise gift from dear Jean and Tom.

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

 Puttering, I was always good at it, but now seems all I am capable of.  I get out some decorations and the hours pass.  I've been cleaning, straightening and purging.  I am hoarding groceries.  The pantries were an accident waiting to happen.  Open a door and a can falls on your foot.  Then there is my storage in the laundry room.  Now, a small victory.  I know what I have and what I need for the coming winter holidays and to entertain my dear ones when they visit.

 Visit they did.  The whole bunch, except for the happy wanderer Amanda and the hard studying Mama of our twins, Charlotte.  More on what she is studying for at a later date. I baked a couple of apple pies.  Should making pie be an emotional event?  Everything sets off memories.  My dearest LOVED a fresh baked pie.  The anticipation was almost as good as the tasting.  Nothing made my guy happier that a cozy nap on a autumn Saturday, with the smell of apple pie in the oven drifting through the house..  Not seeing him in his chair is difficult.  When it gets really bad I will be sitting in that chair, remembering.

  

 This kitchen space gets a cleaning and rearranging.

 Changing things up is what I do.  I don't know if my kids appreciate it, 

but my granddaughter Penny does.

I'm sure that the babies will.  The are drawn to sparkle and lights. 

These lovelies are from my dear pal Carmella.  She remembers me in so many touching ways.

 I want our home, the family home to be welcoming.  

 Every year I pull the stalks from the day lilies and display them, this year in Mom's old crock.  The oak leaves were found on a walk, they even had acorns attached!

The throw is old but the pillow is not.  Inexpensive but pretty.

"Anyone who thinks that fallen leaves are dead has never watched them dancing on a windy day."

Shira Tamir

My dearest may be gone, but I feel he is with me, in our home, when I walk.  Memories of him can make me laugh out loud or cry, then back to laughter. Who gets a life like we had together?  So many have sadness, disappointment or unfulfilled dreams.  I am so grateful for the gift of Tyke and the happy, beautiful and rich life we had together.   Happiness comes and goes, just like sadness and loneliness.   I am trying out happiness, a few moments at a time.  It is easy when surrounded by family, harder when alone. I miss him so very much, his soulful brown eyes, his laugh. His touch.  Mending this broken heart will take time.

Thank you for your kindness and support. 

Enjoy this beautiful day.

Love, Penny